Having no upstairs (this is the cue for "in more ways than one") gives prefab residents their well-grounded sense of self and identity. Originally these pale constructions were expected to last for ten years at most. This faint hearted deadline was passed yonks ago! The quality of prefab design means that they could be standing tall (well, in a manner of speaking) for ten times that long. All that is needed are a few reinforcements for their walls and roofs and a decent heating system.
Not that you are going to hear any bragging about the famed longevity of prefabs just at the moment. The authorities have offered us the chance of moving into real council houses with upstairs lavatories! No wonder everyone has suddenly gone stum. It took about three nano-seconds to look this gift horse in the mouth. Now worn-out pieces of lino and the finest Formica tables are being heaped on to a giant bonfire. Scrap metal merchants just have to shout out "Any" (without adding "old irons!") before they are overwhelmed with largesse.
Of course moving residents out of the prefabs and stripping the landscape of these thin-slivered
pale constructions will be the easy part. Taking the prefabs out of the residents will be a much trickier affair. A yearning to return has been buried deep inside our psyches. One day it will force its way out and explode into the daylight as a forest of glorious sunflowers.
It is not that long ago that the ever-restless 'Ossie' Oster of prefab number seventeen could not wait to get the hell out of this place. He now seems to be having second thoughts. The other night he was heard screaming something out in his sleep. Most of it was unintelligible, but there were some half-remembered words from Gustave Flaubert. Stuff that the scrap metal merchants would appreciate about cracked kettles, beating out tunes for bears to dance to, and longing to move the stars to pity.
"Cheer up, Ossie!" someone said to him the next day when he was looking a bit rough. "After all - when you look at the coming demolition in the broader scheme of things - a prefab is just a heap of asbestos, aluminium, and a few 'any old irons'. And some 'gossamer, feathers, air'."