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Saturday, 16 January 2010

 

FIFTY-TWO

For all of 'Tubby' Lard's faults, it has to be said that he was the inspiration behind the setting up of the Prefab Philosophy Club. He started everything off by asking: "So why should supporting a football clun called Bristol Rovers have a claim to moral superiority over supporting a football club called Bristol City?"
When news of our Prefab Philosophy Club first got out the number of people who were asking the council to re-house them further away from the declined, while the number asking to move into the prefabs increased! The chap who works for the Admiralty who keeps a terrapin - a freshwater turtle - in his back garden in Camelot Green was seen doubling up with laughter when he was told that a seminar on Immanuel Kant was being held in Woodhedge Road. It was only after Nina Chapmain told him it was a "categorical imperative" that he attend the next one (Nina must have been one of the first Twivertonians to get to Cambridge) that the terrapin-like smirk vanished from his "So the prefabs Kant get enough of Kant!" face.
Some members of the Philosophy Club take part in the wireless football results rota on Saturday afternoons. There is always a short quiz before the results are broadcast at five o'clock. 'Tubby' Lard always finds a killer question to floor everyone. "Which language was spoken in seventh century Edinburgh?" was an especially memorable one. (It was Welsh - the Welsh-speaking Goddodin tribe was living in Edinburgh at this time.)
The football results would be listened to in almost complete silence - at least until the ones from the Scottish Football League came on. This all changed in 1958 when a Scottish international called Charlie 'Cannonball' Fleming was signed by Bath City. The one time East Fife and Sunderland player scored fifty goals in one season! Soon the Prefab Philosophy Club was planning a conference on Adam Smith, David Hume, and Adam Ferguson. 'Tubby' Lard (who used to shout out "Who on earth are Stenhousemuir!" as soon as the Scottish results came on) became a fervent follower of the club held the Scottish Qualifying Cup trophy aloft in 1902. When 'Cannonball' was in Bath we would all be on tenterhooks as we waited to hear the result of Partick Thistle brushing against the Heart of Midlothian and prepared our research papers on the impact of the 18th century Scottish Enlightenment.

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